Why This Won't Be Your Year: Premier League 2016/17 Preview, Part 1

Hull City Tigers

That`s what your cookie cutter official website calls you, so suck it up Hull fans. The website is also holding a riveting poll on which shirt you would buy, home, or away? Why would you choose the away kit, unless you secretly wanted to hide your allegiances behind a strip so plain and white you could pass for a county cricketer. The Hull City Official Supports club website runs a far more interesting poll about when was your favourite Hull game at Wembley. Though I’m a bit suspect of this site, as no one comments on anything, and they seem to be excited by the new shirt sponsor. Three years with a Kenyan betting site across my chest wouldn`t exactly get my pulse racing.

 

Oompa Loompa Cosplayers pictured at the recent ComicCon.

Why This Won’t Be Your Year

When your own manager wants nothing to do with you after promotion, you know you’re in trouble. When some of your best players are more than willing to drop back down a division rather than tog out in the top tier, you should probably think twice before forking out for that season ticket too. With the opening day looming it seems you will be reduced to picking eight fit players, a cream telephone box in midfield, with two airfix planes up front, to make up the starting eleven. That opening day fixture is none other than Premier League Champions Leicester City, who will be more than happy to come and win one nil, leaving you with that faint hope that maybe you can compete this season.

Of course lots of people blame the owners, the Allam family, for this state of affairs. But what did you expect a billionaire to do with an exotic wild animal, only to shoot it dead, skin it into a nice rug, all before giving it a cute nickname? The club is currently up for sale (kind of), but not before the owners get that sweet, sweet TV money, sucker some fans into season tickets, and perhaps some of that parachute payment cash after inevitable relegation. Buying Blackpool probably looks like a safer investment at the moment, plus you`d at least get a successful ladies team with them.

The team captain is sidelined for three months with injury. The caretaker manager has never managed an actual game from the dugout as a manager before. All your best players played in the Premier League two years ago and they were crap then, so why would this season be any better?? Oh those heady days of Phil Brown. In fact they should build a statue of Phil Brown serenading Giovanni and Bernard Mendy outside the KCOM stadium to remind fans of the good old days, Hull City Council should get on this right away.

You Couldn`t Write The Script

If they can keep all the other more ambitious teams from buying all their half talented players then perhaps they have a chance of staying up. You don`t get out of the Championship without a somewhat decent first eleven. Another bright spot has been the preseason form of Adama Diomande. The Norwegian was one of the top scorers in the Tippeligaen not so long ago and could transfer that to the Premier League, where you don`t have to play as many games in the Arctic Circle.

Burnley

Face it Burnley fans, this is just a year of travelling to strange places to watch football games before the serious business of gaining promotion from the Championship in 2017/18 begins next August. You know this, I know this, the manager knows this, and the owners definitely know this. So let`s be realistic here before any talk of `doing a Leicester` enters our heads.

 

What was it like to be on the conveyor belt of great Liverpool defenders Jon?

Why This Won’t Be Your Year

You might come from a small town, but you’re not even interesting enough to have the smallest stadium. Your captain is from Chester, which is bloody miles away, and your top scorer comes from the far flung lands of Wolverhampton, so stop pretending like you’re the guardians of English football parochialness. Your manager is from Kettering; it’s easier to get to Paris from Kettering than to travel up to Burnley. So stop pretending you`re a small club. Ramsbottom United are a small club. You are not a small club.

Speaking of your manager, I guess the best thing that can be said about him is that after Burnley sold all their `stars` when they dropped out of the Premier League two seasons back, they all turned out to be a bit crap without him. Oh how Kieran Trippier would love to be supplying long balls to a grateful Danny Ings right about now. He was also linked with the English manager’s job during the summer. It seems the FA decided to go with the one manager who probably plays more long balls than Sean Dyche. England play once a month, and most of those shouldn`t even be classed as a competitive international. Dyche could have managed the two jobs easy. What did the FA think he was going to do? Call up Dean Marney??

Also, what’s up with your club crest? It looks like something drawn on the ZX Spectrum. A colour bleed of garish purple and yellow. The club should go back to the crest they had which featured two lions and a bee, and didn’t have a stork at the top. But I guess it’s not as boring as the West Ham crest.

You Couldn`t Write The Script

This side is surely better than the team that couldn’t get a win in the Premier League until November in 2014. Plus Andre Gray is definitely better than Danny Ings and should help them get more goals than the pathetic effort of 28 goals in 14/15.

They’ve also dodged a bullet when Joey Barton decided to retire to write a few chapters of his autobiography up in Scotland, as he hasn’t been good in the Premier League since about 2010. He surely would have seen red under the bright lights of Match of the Day, before getting into an altercation with one of Turf Moor’s racist bottle throwing fans on the way to his early bath.

Another positive is that majority of the league is composed of teams barely better than most of the sides in the Championship, and if they can make themselves hard to beat they can reach the promised land of finishing ahead of Sunderland or someone…

Middlesbrough

Seemingly by default Middlesbrough are everyone’s favourite team in the north east. Or at the very least, in their top three or four. The `Boro have been knocking on the door of promotion for so many seasons now everyone was just waiting for them to just give up and accept a life of Championship obscurity, a la Ipswich Town. But no, they seem determined to eke out a season in the top tier before doing that, probably after Steve Gibson has gone through everyone on his LinkedIn account in January, all their players leave after getting a taste of Premier League action and think they are bigger than the club, topped off with a Lee Cattermole goal at the Riverside in March rooting them to the bottom of the table right before Aitor Karanka`s heart explodes, leaving the dream team of Gareth Southgate and Gordan Strachan to be drafted in to sort things out. Enjoy it `boro fans.

 

Maybe he thought there was no relegation like in the MLS?

Why This Won’t Be Your Year

And what`s going on with signing all these players in pre-season? How many new faces do you need? You know what clubs signed a stupid amount of players last year? Yep, Aston Villa and Newcastle, and it worked out great. You even went and signed Villa`s goalkeeper. The team that conceded the most goals in the league, you went out and signed their goalkeeper. I never understand why you would let your squad be infested by players who only a few months previous were strolling around as their team was getting embarrassed. Yeah, that’s the kinda spirit we need. Middlesbrough even played Villa in a friendly recently, and beat them (thank god). Luckily your manager seemed to take positives from it, saying the game was good for everyone. Oh great, a run out against Villa will prepare you for the exertions of the Premier League. It`s like pushing over a bunch of toddlers in preparation for a fight in the UFC. And once again, Brad Guzan, jeez, you might as well have loaned Bruno Zuculini again to see if he was any good in goals.

Of course everyone is getting excited about Alvaro Negredo. A player so good he couldn`t get a game at Madrid. A player so good Valencia let him go on loan despite only having one senior striker in their squad. A player so good Spain didn’t bother bringing him to EURO 2016 even though they were crying out for a goalscorer. But what about all those goals at Man City you ask? Well, he only scored nine league goals in his one season there. The same amount as Danny Welbeck that year. But if you need someone to score a hat trick in the league cup, Negredo`s your man. So when Middlesbrough draw Gillingham in the EFL cup, high tail it down to the bookies and lump on boro fans, you`ll be swanning around the banks of the River Tees like Alfie Common the next day.

You Couldn`t Write The Script

Hey, but you never know. Perhaps this is the season that Stewart Downing finally delivers on that promise he`s been bottling up for the last 15 years. Remember that time he was your top scorer? The same year that saw Middlesbrough beat Man City 8-1! How long will it take the team to reach eight goals this year? I`m guessing halfway through October.

Even if things fail to click up front early on, at least things will be safe at the back. Victor Valdes has won more honours in his career than Brad Guzan has clean sheets in the Premier League (I did not make this stat up). Valdes went on a short holiday to Belgium a few months back, and he still somehow managed to win the Belgian Cup.

Sunderland

Do you know that if you go to every other Premier League club`s Wikipedia page it will say that `Team X plays in the Premier League`. Not Sunderland though, their page adds the beautiful caveat of `currently plays in the Premier League`. Even random compilers of arbitrary information realize this team is on a stay of execution, and soon it will descend towards the light of the Championship.

The only reason to go to the stadium is to take in the `Officer and a Gentleman` ladies nights, unless you find some perverse pleasure in seeing Man Utd and Spurs rejects try to do an impression of a back four. I believe the two corners of the main stand have a shrine to a golden boot and a pair of hooped earrings in honour of the only two people to bring joy to the ground in living memory, Kevin Philips and Beyonce. It`s going to be a another long season Sunderland fans, and a long way from the clubs heyday of the 90s (that`s the 1890s).

 

David Moyes slowly morphing into Roy Hodgson here.

Why This Won’t Be Your Year

So your manager left to pick an England squad every few weeks. This is perhaps good news for Jermain Defoe, who surely should have been rewarded for coming out of retirement in the MLS to rescue the Black Cats from relegation with a call up to EURO 2016. Though it`s probably for the best in the long term, as he would have only come back with his soul crushed like all the other England players.

And who`s the new manager? ……………. drum roll please …………… David Moyes! I bet that sets the pulse racing doesn`t it. He followed a tough act at Man Utd and made them worse. He then went to Sociedad and somehow made them worse too. The pinnacle of his career has been taking Preston out of the fourth division. You can point to his 11 years at Everton, but he just made them a sterile club that was happy to finish around sixth every year. He`ll be the manager everyone forgets managed their club, even Everton supporters. The managerial equivalent of a blind spot, that tricky table quiz answer you won’t be able to answer as you down your fifth pint of Double Maxim.

Before a ball is kicked Moyes is already rabbiting on about his win percentage. You are solely employed to win football matches, that`s all you have to do. You could watch animal porn on a projector and loud speakers in the club museum, but if you win football games no one will give a crap. Unless your win percentage is hovering around 90%, don`t talk about your win percentage. I can just see Sunderland winning on the last day of the season and reaching 40 points to stay up. Only for Moyes to be sacked because he drew the 37 other league games, leaving him with a shocking 2.6% win percentage.

You Couldn`t Write The Script

Well, the club isn`t harbouring a pedophile anymore, so that`s always a plus.

This could be the year Fabio Borini catches fire and loses the use of his baby finger after celebrating one too many goals. It could also be the year Defoe swaps his Spurs pillow cases for ones featuring Samson the Black Cat, and he decides to score goals before Sunderland are six points from safety sometime in March.

Also, what have you done with Wes Brown? Is he not a player there? When did he stop being a registered player? I`m half expecting a Panorama special entitled `The Disappearance of Wes Brown`. Where they show grainy footage of a figure going up for a corner, only for the away team to break down field and score. As the camera pans back we can only make out a cloud of smoke and perhaps the flag of a long extinct fifth or sixth official.

Bournemouth

Or AFC Bournemouth as they insist on being called. Is all this just a ploy to be top of the league on opening day? And what`s with the A anyway? Athletic. Are you sending guys to the Olympics now? Perhaps Tyrone Mings was bought because of his proficiency in the pole vault. Maybe I should head to the official club website to find out. Oh dear, oh no, my eyes! The site is all written in red and white on a black background, I know that`s the colour of your kit, but why do you assault me like this. A.C. Milan have the same colour jerseys and their website is far more readable, and that’s in Italian. Possibly taking more cues from the Italian giants, AFC could stand for `Associazione Faceto Calcio` but I guess we`ll never know.

 

Hmmmm should've gone for the England job...

Why This Won’t Be Your Year

Dean Court is getting a second season of top tier football. This would have been unthinkable back in the days of Harry Redknapp and Tony Pulis. Thankfully you`ve got a hot young manager who likes to spend money like a born again Brendan Rodgers, in the effort to keep the Cherries in the top flight. He also looks like the newborn baby of a tryst between Dan Dare and an Easter Island head. I`m sure that’s why all these fringe Premier League and middling Championship players flock to the south west to be with him.

The season couldn`t start out much tougher for Bournemouth, as they host Man Utd. If you thought Leeds supporters rioting through the town in 1990 was bad, wait until Zlatan is finished with you. Artur Boruc won`t be able to sleep for a month. Josh King will forget where the goalposts are after seeing his incredible haul of six goals in one season get obliterated in one afternoon. The team won`t be able to lift themselves off the bottom of the table for two months. The only highlights in that time will be some of your new signings snapping their cruciate ligaments after tumbling down some steps in the Ted Mcdoughall Stand in an ill-advised photo-op.

The Cherries got nine points off the trio of teams that got relegated last year, that won’t be happening again. They had the worst defence of all the teams that stayed up last year, so what have they done to remedy this? They`ve loaned one defender who really wants to be a midfielder, while paying six million (Yes, 6,000,000) for another player who has more studs on his boots than first team appearances, and also, doesn`t really want to be a defender.

You Couldn`t Write The Script

You know, that Jordan Ibe can be quite handy. He can play on either wing. He has an eye for the odd goal or assist. If he helps them stay up his fee will seem like a bargain, plus they can sell him on to Chelsea at three times the price at the end of the season.

Bournemouth overall are a very young squad. A few good results and they could be this year’s surprise team. A poor man`s Spurs if you will. Except lacking the flair, and the nagging self-doubt.

IEFSA Fantasy League Week 18 Preview

I hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas festivities and are adequately prepared for the thick and fast football coming over the New Year. Unfortunately the holiday period got off to a bad start last weekend as @nikarg defeated my side by an agonising 3.3 pts after my players failed to register a single goal or assist. @nikarg had a Wayne Rooney assist to thank for his win, the first time Rooney has helped a team to win since….. ummmm, I don’t know, perhaps September?

This week I get a chance to get back to winning ways when I face @TomSunderland_ Tom might be second from bottom of the league, but he did win his previous matchup and he would have beaten me last week too.  A win could see my squad move up to ninth, but a loss would more than likely move me team down to eleventh and far too many points off the summit to worry about winning the league for another year.

@TomSunderland_’s Team

A great Goalkeeper in Arsenal’s Petr Cech sits behind a back three of players who are pretty much nailed on starters for their clubs for Tom’s side. Two of these four players, Azpelicueta and Walker, have home fixtures that look like they could throw up a clean sheet or two. His Midfield is a bit harder to pin down. The player with the most appearances for his side this season, Leicester’s Daniel Drinkwater, will be unavailable this week. The rest of his options could well be propping up benches up and down the country this weekend. On the flipside though, three of them could well start, and then I’ll be in trouble.

Nine of his goals have come from his two Forward players, Arouna Kone and Anthony Martial. Martial should start up front for Manchester United when they travel to Stoke City. But Kone could have his place under threat for Everton’s trip to Newcastle from Kevin Mirallas. The Belgian scored last time out against Leicester, whereas Kone hasn’t scored since his hattrick against Sunderland on November first.

What I Need To Happen

If @TomSunderland_ is hoping for Martial to shine against Stoke on Saturday lunchtime, I’ll be hoping that Memphis Depay does the same. Martial’s place is surely more secure than Memphis’s, but with Luis van Gaal really needing to pick up a win, perhaps the manager will try attacking en masse for this game. If he does go this route, and I’ll be delighted if he does, perhaps this will cost Schweinsteiger, another player on my roster, his chance of starting.

Will the Guus get cooked this Holiday season?

That would leave my midfield scrambling around for starters. Aston Villa have a home fixture against West Ham. And after a promising result last time out for the Villains, I could play my two Villa players (I know, I know!).  Hopefully I will need only one, as Wijnaldum and Andre Ayew have home games, and are due a goal or two before the year is out. In goals I will be hoping for a clean sheet from Chelsea to mark Guus Hiddink’s first game in charge.

Predictions

Only three correct predictions from seven last week. @Smokey_Loogy was toppled by @FantasyYIRMA in a really tight game. While @DanRiccio590 was beaten by @RotoWireAndrew in another closely fought contest. This week will be easier to predict surely! Follow @THE_IEFSA on Twitter to keep track of all this week’s games, and don’t forget to follow me on Twitter also @GarryIrwin.

@Smokey_Loogy over @BenDinnery

@RotoZdroik over @DanRiccio590

@FuzzyWarbles over @RotoWireAndrew

@FantasyYIRMA over @SportsByGotti

@cjradune over @GalinDragiev

@wrigavin over @nealjthurman

@nikarg over @DFS_hambazaza

Good Luck Everyone.

IEFSA Fantasy League Week 14 Preview

Two goals last week helped my team see off @RotoWireAndrew by nearly 30 points. Andre Ayew ended a recent barren spell, while Memphis Depay found himself on the team sheet and then on the scoresheet for Man Utd. That victory puts my side to 7-6 and up to the heady heights of 9^th! This week’s match-up is against a team three points and two places above mine.

Only nine points separate the top 11 teams in the league, so any victory is vital, especially at this stage of the season if you want to be in the mix for honours in 2016. Week 14 serves up a game between my side, off the back of two straight wins, and @RotoZdroik, who himself has rattled off three wins in a row. So far this season he has scored 28 more points than me overall, thanks to some of the star players he has lining out for him.

@RotoZdroik’s Team

In goals he has the third highest scoring goalkeeper in Heurelho Gomes of Watford. He has kept five clean sheets and made 40 saves so far. He is also one of only two goalkeepers to save a penalty this season. In defence he has two players who average more points per game than his goalkeeper; Eric Dier of the stingy Spurs backline and Man City’s Bacary Sagna. He has three other capable defenders vying for that third Defensive spot on his roster, but this week I expect him to stick with Damien Delaney of Crystal Palace, as they host Newcastle United on Saturday.

"I'm dropping you for Aiden McGeady"  *probably not going to happen

His other big star player, who is bang in form too, is Romelu Lukaku. The Belgian's 9 goals so far this season are only bettered by Jamie Vardy. This week Everton travel to the worst defence in the league at Bournemouth, where he will be fancied to add to his tally. He has plenty of other goal threats on his team too; Defoe has chipped in with four goals, Dier and Sigurdsson both have two goals each. Elsewhere in Midfield sits Arsenal’s Santi Cazorla, who has three assists but no goals so far, and will probably be extra determined to find the back of the net after doing everything but score against West Brom last weekend.

What I Need To Happen

Memphis Depay to keep his place. Although after a poor outing midweek in the Champions League, I’m in doubt as to whether Luis van Gaal will trust him in the top of the table clash against Leicester City in the Saturday evening kickoff. Bastian Schweinsteiger seems to have a more secure place in midfield. But I will probably put Arnautovic up front, Stoke travel to lowly Sunderland, and leave the flex OF position free until the teams are announced for the game at the King Power Stadium at 5:30.

The old adage of goals winning games will surely mean I need my side to outscore Lukaku. If Bournemouth could somehow keep him quiet that would be great. But if not, I will surely need Ayew to step up again; or perhaps Wijnaldum could rediscover his goalscoring touch as Newcastle battle to move out of the relegation zone. If not goals, then cleansheets could be the route to victory. I have two defenders playing at home, Moreno and Jenkinson, while the third travels to Aston Villa, who are the lowest scorers in the league.

Predictions

Four correct predictions last week. Not the worst week, but not really anything to write home about either. It just goes to further prove how unpredictable this league becoming. Anyone can beat anyone, but that won't stop me from telling you who is going to beat who this week! So without further ado,

@RotoWireAndrew over @DFS_hambazaza

@GalinDragiev over @SportsByGotti

@TomSunderland_ over @DanRiccio590

@FantasyYIRMA over @cjradune

@nealjthurman over @Smokey_Loogy

@nikarg over @FuzzyWarbles

@wrigavin over @BenDinnery

And please, don’t forget that to be able to keep up with all the scores in these matchups over the weekend, you simply have to follow @THE_IEFSA on Twitter. Oh, and follow me @GarryIrwin!

IEFSA Fantasy League Week 13 Preview

I hadn’t much time to celebrate my tight victory in week 12 when the international break came and tried to cripple my defence. Nyom is a doubt for this weekend after he missed both of Cameroon’s World Cup qualifiers because of a mix up with documentation and travel arrangements. The Cameroonian FF could prevent him from playing if they wanted, but they will probably let it slide. On a far more serious note, Jordan Amavi will miss the remainder of the season after injuring his knee while playing for France. The left back has been one of the few bright spots for Aston Villa and his absence leaves my side with only three fit defenders, unless I bring in cover from the waiver wire this week.
This week I face one of the few teams that sit below me in the table (I’m still 11^th!), but @RotoWireAndrew’s two victories this season are a little harsh on his side. Andrew has had to face the most difficult fixture list in the league. He has the most points against at 668; compare this to @nikarg whose record is 8-4 and has conceded a much lighter 520 points. Andrew’s team has scored the most points of the bottom five and is surely best placed to make a run up the table.

@RotoWireAndrew’s Team

A spate of red flags and an Eric Lamela suspension has depleted Andrew’s options this week. But he does have a number of players with potential to turn in a star performance or two, and with goals being crucial to chances of victory in this league, Benteke and Wickham up front could well be due some goals.

Looking around his squad and he has a lot of names form the big clubs who usually turn in good average points per week.  Andrew is sure to miss his best performer this week in Theo Walcott though. The Arsenal man is still a week or two away from a return. His other Arsenal player is Monreal who averages nearly 6 points per game and is his top scoring defender. The Gunners face a rather goal shy West Brom this weekend, so a clean sheet is not out of the question. Another player who has a favourable fixture, so it would seem, is Pedro of Chelsea. He will be up against Norwich at home and will fancy improving on his 6.15 pts per game.

What I Need To Happen

Good news on the Memphis Depay front, as injuries to Martial and Rooney has left Luis van Gaal looking to his squad for goals. Memphis will need to take the chance any minutes afforded to him can provide. Watford away is a tricky fixture for most sides though; the Hornets have only conceded four goals at home all season. I’m hoping he’ll start in the early Saturday kickoff, otherwise I’ll have to rely on Ola Toivonen up front; and no one should have to write a sentence like that!

Are Goals imminent for Memphis Depay? Will he even start??



I cannot stress enough how important goals are in this league.  My two top scorers, Wijnaldum and Ayew have two home fixtures for their sides and I will be looking to them to spearhead my points tally for gameweek 13. If those two fail to shine, perhaps Stoke’s Marko Arnoutovic can add to his three goals this season when The Potters travel to Southampton. While goals are foremost in my mind, a clean sheet would not be unwelcomed, and Chelsea will be fancied to gain one at home to the Canaries for my goalkeeper Begovic.

Predictions

Gameweek 12 was a mixed bag of predictions. Four right and three wrong just goes to prove how tough it is to cement a victory in this league. The first 11 teams are separated by only nine points, while a quick glance at the form table shows that @FuzzyWarbles and @Smokey_Loogy are out in front, but only on the back of three wins each.
Here are this week’s predictions. Good Luck Everyone, and remember to follow @THE_IEFSA on twitter to keep track of all the Fantasy Football action.

@RotoZdroik over @DFS_hambazaza

@GalinDragiev over @Smokey_Loogy

@TomSunderland_ over @FuzzyWarbles

@cjradune over @BenDinnery

@SportsByGotti over @nealjthurman

@DanRiccio590 over @nikarg

@wrigavin over @FantasyYIRMA

IEFSA Fantasy League Week 12 Preview

No goals and no assists last weekend saw my team lose by almost 15 points.  This leaves me still sitting in eleventh but 12 points off the pace. It’s proving difficult for anyone to get momentum together. @wrigavin has seen a league best three victories on the trot propel his side to three points clear at the top of the league. In second place is this week’s opponent for my side, @DanRiccio590, Dan’s team has scored the most fantasy points of the sixteen teams in the league. He averages 57.6 points a week, so I can’t go another gameweek with no goals and only three shots on goal!

My players are losing form at just the wrong time. Gameweek 9 the team posted the highest points total, the following week a win was secured with the fourth highest total of the week, then last week a defeat was all but assured with a points total that would have only beaten three other teams in the league. Since the start of the season I would have beaten @DanRiccio590 only four times out of eleven weeks. The fantasy gods are clearly out to get me this year, it will take a herculean effort from my team to get a win this week, but are they up to it?

@DanRiccio590’s Team

From Goalkeeper to Forward, Dan’s squad is ridiculously good. De Gea plays in goals for the meanest defence in the Premier League, while Wilfried Bony currently leads the line for the team with the most goals. He has two players who have scored over 100 points this season, Payet and Pelle. At the back he has one of the most inform defenders in Chris Smalling.

Looking at his midfield, either side of the inform West Ham man Payet, he has two players who have yet to show what they can do in front of goal this season; Chelsea’s Eden Hazard and Stoke City’s Xherdan Shaqiri. They face each other in Saturdays late kickoff. I’m hoping they don’t start a goalscoring stretch this weekend. Other players that make up his squad could easily come in and make a good showing if he needs them; Schneiderlin, Schlupp and Shawcross look to have favourable fixtures this week and I wouldn’t be surprised if they have increased their points average come Saturday night.

Another plus for Dan is that he only has to put up with one Aston Villa player, whereas I have to juggle three of them! Villa, who are bottom, host Man City, who are top, and if @DanRiccio590 is leading in our matchup by this game's kickoff on Sunday, I may not be able to turn it around if I have to cross my fingers for a big Villa win.

What I Need To Happen

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve three Villa players playing on Sunday afternoon. So, indeed I will be crossing my fingers that they can summon some of that new manager bounce with the appointment of Remi Garde. The Frenchman never finished lower than fifth after three years of managing Lyon. If he can replicate that with Aston Villa……. well, if he can replicate that with Aston Villa, he’ll have to be made a Saint, as that would be proof of some sort of divine miracle. If Garde is to be beatified by Christmas, he may need to beat Man City this weekend.

Remi Garde, Miracle Man?

Another small miracle this weekend would be to see Memphis Depay on the team sheet for Man Utd against West Brom. The Dutchman is just back from a slight injury and perhaps he will given some minutes at the weekend. I won’t be sending players out against @DanRiccio590 on a perhaps though, so Arnautovic will more than likely be leading the line for me. This is problematic though, as I have Begovic in goals for Chelsea, so it’s a case of wanting a nil all draw with lots of shots and lots of saves in that matchup. Though if Arnautovic was to break out and score 5 goals, I might see that as acceptable.

Goals are what my team needs. If you don’t score you might as well chalk another one down in the Loss column. With this in mind, I’ll need my top scorers Andre Ayew and Georginio Wijnaldum to find the net for their respective sides. Neither scored last time out, so at least one of them is due surely!

Predictions

4 from 7 last week. It’s getting harder and harder every week to call winners in each of these matchups. @wrigavin is top with the longest winning streak of three matches, but he faces fifth placed @Smokey_Loogy this week, and he is after winning two games in a row. Regardless, I’m going to try and call the winners this week again! Good Luck everyone, and remember to follow @THE_IEFSA on Twitter to stay abreast of all the action.

@nealjthurman over @BenDinnery

@GalinDragiev over @FantasyYIRMA

@FuzzyWarbles over @DFS_hambazaza

@nikarg over @RotoWireAndrew

@TomSunderland_ over @RotoZdroik

@wrigavin over @Smokey_Loogy

@cjradune over @SportsByGotti

IEFSA Fantasy League Week 11 Preview

An Andre Ayew goal helped seal another win for me last week. That was my second win on the trot but I’m still sitting in a lowly 11^th place, nine points off the top. A points total of 55.7 was the third highest of the week and helped me overcome @BenDinnery. I will need a similar score this week as I face 4^th placed @FuzzyWarbles. His team averages 54.6 points a week, so I’m definitely going to need some goals to have a chance in this matchup.

@FuzzyWarbles could go top with a big win, while I could jump into the top 7 if results go my way. The league table gets tighter by the week; only three points separate the top 5. No one has a winning run of more than three games, and previous top dog @DanRiccio590 has only gone and lost two games in a row.

@FuzzyWarbles Team

@FuzzyWarbles' only injury concern is David Silva who will be out with an ankle injury. But he has more than capable back-ups in midfield. He can call on Mane and Mata, both players average over eight points a game and have six goals and seven assists between them. They also have games against sides who have been leaking goals lately. Further upfield he can call on one , or more likely two, of any of his four forward players. Between Mitrovic, Rondon, Diouf and Gomis he has 11 goals, in contrast my three forward players have only managed three goals this season.

In goals he has the dependable Hugo Lloris of Spurs. Four clean sheets so far this season, and the chance of another at home to an all at sea Aston Villa side this weekend. His back line now includes some players who have just broken into their respective sides, so dangerously they are in good form. Otamendi should be in the Man City side that host Norwich City on Saturday. Marcos Rojo should also feature for Manchester United as they travel to Crystal Palace. With Jagielka injured his third defender will be Leicester’s Robert Huth. Huth has played every minute of every game so far this season and that sequence should continue away to West Brom this weekend.

What I Need To Happen

I need Jürgen Klopp to wait at least another week for his first Premier League win. Chelsea host Liverpool in the weekends early kickoff as Begovic will attempt to keep only a third clean sheet. A nil-all draw would suit my side as I also have Moreno at the back for Liverpool. Speaking of nil-all draws, if that was the result between Watford and West Ham I’d be pretty happy, because I have a defender from each side in that match.

Can Andre Ayew continue his goalscoring form against Arsenal?

I have two players facing each other in midfield too, but I’ll be looking for goals between Newcastle and Stoke, with the goals to come from Wijnaldum and Arnautovic in particular. My top scorer Ayew plays at home to Arsenal, a tough match but he has the class to trouble the Gunners I feel.  Depay picked up a knock in midweek during a league cup tie, so he may not play (he probably wouldn’t have played anyway!), this means Schweinsteiger will start for my side, but he will have to improve on his 2.47 points per game. Making up the remaining spots on my roster will be difficult because I have three Villa players (I know, I know, I know!!) and they will play on Monday night, because of this I’ll try and keep one spot free for a Villa midfielder to play, I’m hoping I won’t have to call on all three of them.

Predictions

5 from 7 in the predictions again last weekend. Let’s try for the full set this week. But as I’ve mentioned the league seems to get tighter by the week and predicting winners will get tighter as a result. Remember to follow all these guys on Twitter and to follow @THE_IEFSA too so you can keep up with all the scores in the matchups as they happen.

@BenDinnery over @GalinDragiev

@DanRiccio590 over @DFS_hambazaza

@FantasyYIRMA over @nealjthurman

@TomSunderland_ over @RotoWireAndrew

@RotoZdroik over @nikarg

@cjradune over @Smokey_Loogy

@wrigavin over @SportsByGotti

Good Luck Everybody.

IEFSA Fantasy League Week 10 Preview

I’ll admit, I was a little worried going into last week’s match-up, but thanks to a Wijnaldum four goal haul, I managed to win with something to spare. If the Newcastle player had not posted any points last week, I still would have got the win against @FantasyYIRMA though. The thing is, I can’t exactly be relying on that to happen each and every gameweek. Some of my other players will have to contribute too. So I find myself worrying this week yet again. Memphis Depay didn’t get a single minute of game time against Everton and only got ten minutes in Man Utd’s midweek Champions League game. Will LVG throw him back in for the Manchester derby? That game is on Sunday, so I may just keep one roster spot for my two Man Utd players, Memphis and Schweinsteiger, and hope at least one of them starts.

This week I face @BenDinnery. Despite the victory in Gameweek 9, my side still sit in 12^th place. One place below me is Ben’s team, with two victories from nine games. Even though I have twice the number of wins, I’ve only managed to score 8.5pts more than him so far this season. Clearly he has had the tougher set of fixtures (until now!) to deal with.

@BenDinnery’s Team

Ben splashed out the big bucks to land Diego Costa and he will be hoping he continues scoring with a game away to West Ham this weekend. His other forward option isn’t too shabby either in West Brom’s Saido Berahino. Between the sticks he has the Newcastle goalkeeper, and with Tim Krul injured for the foreseeable future, that means Robert Elliot holding the fort. Newcastle concedes just over two goals a game on average and head into the Tyne-Wear derby on Sunday at noon. That is a game where anything could happen.

In Midfield he has three solid players who start every game for their respective clubs. Howson, Noble and M’Vila have scored or assisted in eight goals this season. They all play at home this weekend too, so Ben will be expecting some points there surely. At the back his standout player has been Man City’s Kolarov. The other players who will make up his three at the back are Skrtel, Van Dijk and Hangeland. Liverpool and Southampton play each other so he may choose one or the other. But Hangeland may lose his place to a fit again Delaney for Palace, so Ben may have to play both at Anfield.

What I Need To Happen

Memphis to somehow find his way back into Van Gaal’s good graces and back onto the team sheet. Maybe he has got the kick up the backside he needed after sitting out the last number of games. But I wouldn’t hold my breath on that. If (when?) he doesn’t play I’ll need goals from my midfield. Arnautovic has been on form for Stoke recently as they won three games in a row. At home to Watford is a good chance to extend that run.

Tim Sherwood is not afraid of losing, in fact he's quite good at it!

I still have three Aston Villa players in my squad (I know, I know!) so if they could maybe show up this weekend at home to Swansea and fight to stay in the Premier League that would be great. If somehow Tim Sherwood’s powers of motivation fail once again and Swansea get the upper hand, I will need Andre Ayew to be involved. At the back, it would be nice if Chelsea could keep another clean sheet. West Ham haven’t been at their best when playing at home, so there is every possibility Begovic could shut them out.

 Predictions

The league got a lot tighter after last weekend’s results. Any of five teams could claim top spot come Monday morning, while any of four teams could be propping up the table. The rest could all move between sixth and twelfth.
5 from 7 predictions last week. Which was an improvement over the last couple of weeks. Let’s try for the full set this gameweek!

@FantasyYIRMA over @DFS_hambazaza

@FuzzyWarbles over @GalinDragiev

@TomSunderland_ over @Smokey_Loogy

@cjradune over @RotoWireAndrew

@DanRiccio590 over @nealjthurman

@nikarg over @SportsByGotti

@wrigavin over @RotoZdroik

As always, make sure you follow @THE_IEFSA on Twitter to keep up with all the action. And Good Luck Everybody.

Fantasy Football: IEFSA Fantasy League Week 9 Preview

After a break for a week to accommodate international matches, we are back to the bread and butter of the Premier League for Gameweek 9. Unfortunately that butter will have to be spread pretty thinly as the international games has wreaked havoc on fantasy squads up and down the land. My squad unfortunately is no different. There are injury flags staring out at me from the computer screen like dogs begging to be let outside. Let me go, let me run in the field of waivers out back, let me be free!! I just might..... I just might swing open the door and let them go. But then there will be that nagging fear….. who do you let in?

Courtois and Delph were already on the sidelines for me, now they appear to be joined by Toivonen, Schweinsteiger and Nyom. To cap it off, Louis Van Gaal appears to have lost patience with Memphis Depay and rumours abound that he might not get the start this weekend against Everton. My opponent this week, @FantasyYIRMA must be licking his lips in anticipation of this match-up. He is coming off the back of three straight victories and has relatively few injuries to worry about. My team is fresh from a rather limp defeat in Week 8 and currently sit 12^th with a lowly .375 win percentage.

@FantasyYIRMA’s Team

Starting out at the back, I don’t think any of my defenders would get picked ahead of his five defenders. Two from the Chelsea backline, along with any one from Williams, Mertesacker, or Lescott should see him in line to rack up clean sheet points. Chelsea have been off form to start the season, but if they can’t keep Villa quiet at home then surely some of those Blues players will be given the footballing equivalent of a P45 by Mourinho. I’m also looking for Chelsea to keep a clean sheet because I have their goalkeeper. But perhaps if that happens it would do me more harm than good!
In Midfield he has two fantasy studs in Yaya Toure and Mesut Ozil. With Man City and Arsenal expected to pick up wins this weekend, these players are sure to be in the thick of it. James Milner as the third in his midfield is another solid player who might just shine in new Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp’s pressing game. Up front @FantasyYIRMA will look to Cameron Jerome to score the goals, and with Norwich playing Newcastle, goals are a real possibility. He also has youngster Kelechi Iheanacho to call upon. With Aguero one of the bigger casualties of the international fixtures, it is quite possible that Iheanacho will see more game time. If not from the start, then surely from the bench.

What I Need To Happen

Depay to start! Plain and simple. I need Memphis to start proving why he is so highly thought of. He may have had a rather embarrassing time with the Dutch squad this past week, but he is due a good performance, or, at least, a half decent one! I have three Villa players in my squad (I know, I know!) and because of injuries, I will have to play two of them. So a spirited showing at Stamford Bridge would be good, yet having Begovic in goals means I’d probably rather they didn’t score. But as I mentioned earlier, if they don’t score @FantasyYIRMA will gain most of the points.

Will Memphis be getting the thumbs down this weekend?

 

If Memphis is firing blanks again, then my goals will have to come from elsewhere. My main goal threats this week will be from Andre Ayew and Georginio Wijnaldum. Swansea host Stoke City. The Potters have only kept one clean sheet away from home this season, and that was to Villa! Newcastle have yet to keep a clean sheet at home in any competition, I will need Wijnaldum to step up if Jerome does get among the goals for Norwich on Sunday.

Predictions

A number of very close contests last gameweek and I only managed to predict 3 from 7. It was an improvement over the previous week, but it’s still not very good. Maybe it will be easier to predict this weekend with all the injuries going around? We’ll see. As usual, if you want to keep track of what’s happening in the league then simply follow @THE_IEFSA on Twitter. Also, follow me on Twitter, because if I’m within sight of picking up the win, I won’t shut up about it! @GarryIrwin

@BenDinnery over @DFS_hambazaza

@DanRiccio590 over @GalinDragiev

@FuzzyWarbles over @nealjthurman

@wrigavin over @RotoWireAndrew

@cjradune over @RotoZdroik

@nikarg over @Smokey_Loogy

@SportsByGotti over @TomSunderland_

Good Luck Everyone.

Fantasy Football: IEFSA Fantasy League Week 8 Preview

My team might be sitting in 10^th and nine points off the top of the table, but things are looking up after winning last week. A first Memphis Depay goal coupled with a Wijnaldum strike against Chelsea saw me overcome @nealjthurman and leapfrog him in the table. My hope for a clean sheet from any of my defenders never came to pass, but it did not hamper my team too much. Begovic continued to leak goals, as Chelsea struggle to recapture the defensive stability that was a feature of their league winning campaign. I’m starting to think that Chelsea will not fix this problem anytime soon and any points that I can gain are a bonus at the moment.

This week, in an effort to get to .500 and move up the table, I face @SportsByGotti. A win is never assured in this league, and Mike’s team may sit below me in the table but he has scored 14 more points than me this season so far. He had a heartbreaking loss to @RotoWireAndrew in week 7 and will be determined to bounce back this week and move ahead of my team at the same time.

@SportsByGotti’s Team

Mike’s team averages 46.5 points every gameweek. But digging a bit deeper; since the signing of Kevin De Bryne and the goalscoring form of Redmond and Sakho, his starting team average 58.5 points. So I’m hoping he leaves some of those points on the bench this week. One player who he will have to leave out is Koscielny as the defender picked up a hamstring injury in the Champions League midweek. This will mean he has to play Janmaat at the back, as the Newcastle man visits Man City.

@SportsByGotti is strong up front. His players have 13 goals between them, while my team only has nine. Sahko of West Ham heads to Sunderland and he would hope to continue his goalscoring form there. The Black Cats have yet to keep a clean sheet in the league and have let in five goals in their three previous games at home. West Ham also seem to play better away from home, they have a 100% record away from Upton Park and have only conceded one goal in this time, and that was away at Man City.

Will Falcao or Remy start in place of the suspended Costa?

Three Chelsea players make up a big chunk of his squad. Falcao, Oscar and Willian could all start at home to Southampton this Saturday evening. Falcao has yet to start a league game for the Blues and is probably the biggest gamble of the three. A number of his forward players will be involved in games prior to the Chelsea v Southampton kickoff, so his Forward and OFfensive slots will be more than likely filled before then.

What I Need To Happen

To beat @SportsByGotti this week I’m going to need to score goals, Depay will continue up front for me. United play Arsenal on Sunday, and while I’m fairly confident he’ll start against the Gunners, I’ll be hoping that I’m not too far behind Mike’s team going into Sunday’s games because if I’m relying on Memphis to drag my team over the line, it could be a long wait.

Everyone could well know this guys name come Saturday evening....

I also need Tim Sherwood’s Aston Villa to start picking up their performances. I have three Villa players and with them playing at home to Stoke City, a Stoke side that have yet to pick up a win away from home, if any of my three players start, and I’ll be sweating over the fitness of Idrissa Gana Gueye, they will be in my starting team. While needing a Villa win, I’ve decided to drop Arnautovic to the bench and bring in Ola Toivonen of Sunderland instead. I’m aware that this could easily backfire on me too because Sunderland are Sunderland!

Predictions

Oh dear! 2 from 7 last weekend was an abysmal return. A lot of sides put up some impressive numbers last week which totally surprised me. @wrigavin had a Hennessey clean sheet and five goals as he put up a season high of 82.4 points. Most of his players will be playing away from home this week, so surely that number won’t be possible again? Either way, @FuzzyWarbles will have to worry about that!

@Smokey_Loogy over @DFS_hambazaza

@RotoZDroik over @GalinDragiev

@TomSunderland_ over @FantasyYIRMA

@cjradune over @DanRiccio590

@nealjthurman over @RotoWireAndrew

@nikarg over @BenDinnery

@wrigavin over @FuzzyWarbles

Enjoy all the football this Saturday and Sunday everyone, and don’t forget to follow @THE_IEFSA on Twitter to keep up with the goings on in all the matchups.